The New Chapter
of Us
For couples who want to be lovers again, not just a good team.
Three nights on Kawau Island to understand what to do to feel close again and how to enjoy an exciting love life.
Maybe you’ve been together 20 years or more.
You raised the kids, paid the mortgage, got everyone where they needed to be. You did it well, together. But somewhere along the way your relationship became the thing that ran in the background, while everything else came first.
Now the kids need you less. The house is emptier, and you find yourselves facing each other across the table with more time than you’ve had in years. And you realise you don’t want to spend the next twenty just functioning. You want to feel each other again. You want the closeness, the touch and the desire that got buried under everything else.
Or maybe you’ve found love again, later in life.
You know the pain of losing a relationship. The slow ache of disconnection, the nights lying side by side and feeling alone, the years without deep intimacy.
And you don’t want to go through that again. You want to build this one differently from the start, and grow a love that gets deeper with time, not flatter.
You don’t need to be in crisis to come, and you don’t need to pretend everything is fine.
Either way, the moment is now. There’s no more time to lose. This Valentine’s, we invite you to find each other again and to create your relationship consciously.
It’s the most memorable Valentine’s celebration, one that shows your commitment to your partner and your relationship.
For the men: lots of brownie points from your darling.
Apply to talk
What you’ll experience and learn
Understand the cycles that pull you apart
Every couple gets caught in two cycles: an emotional one and a sexual one. One partner reaches, the other pulls away. Small hurts turn into the same arguments, and the arguments turn into distance.
Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll see both of your cycles clearly, learn how to stop a conflict before it spirals, and turn towards each other instead of away.
Let go of resentment
Years of unspoken hurts and unmet needs can build a wall between you. We’ll help you put it down safely, without blaming or hurting each other, so you can open your hearts to each other again.
Bridge the gap in desire
Maybe sex has faded to almost nothing. Maybe one of you wants more and keeps reaching, while the other feels pressured and pulls away, and you both end up feeling rejected.
You’ll discover how desire works for each of you, what opens you and what shuts you down, and how to invite each other back in without pressure.
Bring back the spark between you
After years of running a home together, many couples become more like flatmates or business partners: practical and efficient, but without the attraction.
Attraction lives in the space between you, in your differences.
Drawing on the polarity work and yoga of intimacy we were taught by David Deida, you’ll rediscover and celebrate those differences. One partner learns to be more present and steady. The other reconnects with their radiance, their flow and the love in their heart. That’s when desire comes back to life.
Write your next chapter together
You’ll get clear on your values, your desires and the life you want to create, and how you can support each other to grow, become the best versions of yourselves and live a more fully expressed life.
You’ll go home with your Love Map, your shared plan for the next chapter. When life gets busy again, you’ll know you can count on each other. You’ll have each other’s back.
How the weekend works
In three nights, you do the equivalent of 6 to 10 sessions of couples therapy, away from daily life and with time for each other in between.
You can share in the circle if you want to, and nobody has to. There are no explicit or sexual practices in the room. We teach practices that you can choose to explore privately, in your own time, in your own room.
Apply to talkThe weekend at a glance
Open your hearts
Arrive on the island from 3pm and settle into your room. Opening circle, dinner, then time with your partner to set your intentions, and a heart-centring meditation together.
Understand desire
A peaceful walk or kayak at dawn. Your emotional and sexual cycles, asking for space and reassurance in a way your partner can hear, and how desire works after 40. Breathwork in the afternoon, a private practice in your room in the evening.
Write the new chapter
A compassion practice, your values and vision for the years ahead, a new conversation about desire, and polarity. You finish your Love Map, then the evening is yours: an exquisite dinner on the beach.
Your morning
No sessions. Sleep in, swim, have breakfast together, and take the boat home when you’re ready.
For the partner
who isn’t sure
Often one of you finds us first, and the other one is less sure. That’s normal.
Nobody will put you on the spot. There’s no role play in front of others, no hugging strangers, and you never have to speak in the group. Most of the work happens between the two of you. Mark is happy to have a short call with you first, so you can ask him anything before you decide.
Your guides
Tarisha is a relationship and sex therapist with 15 years of experience in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and sex therapy. We integrate Western psychotherapy with Eastern wisdom from sacred sexuality and tantra. We don’t know of another retreat in New Zealand that brings these together.
Tarisha and Mark have both trained with David Deida, one of the world’s most respected teachers on intimacy and polarity. His eleven books, including Dear Lover and The Enlightened Sex Manual, have been published in more than 35 languages.
Find out more about David Deida →The details
Kawau Lodge, North Cove · Friday 12 to Monday 15 February 2027
Three nights in an ocean-view room with a king bed. You’ll wake to the sound of the sea and walk straight out onto the jetty.
Every meal is prepared on the island by our private chef: slow breakfasts in the sun, fresh, colourful lunches, and dinners you’ll still be talking about on the boat home.
On Valentine’s night, dinner for two on the beach.
Kayaks, bush walks and swims, with phones handed in at the wharf.
The New Chapter of Us
We’ll answer all your questions on your call.
- A call with each of you before the retreat
- Three nights in an ocean-view king room at Kawau Lodge
- All meals by our private chef, including the Valentine’s dinner on the beach
- Kayaks, bush walks and swims
- Your printed workbook and Love Map
- A set of connection cards and a Valentine’s gift set to take home
- A follow-up session on Zoom after the retreat
Keep going after the retreat
Retreat couples can add five private couple sessions with Tarisha at a special rate.
Questions couples ask
Do we have to share in front of the group?
No. Sharing in the circle is always optional. Most of the work happens privately between the two of you.
Are there any sexual practices in the room?
No. Nothing explicit happens in the group. We teach practices you can choose to explore privately, in your own room.
Is this retreat right for us?
It’s for couples who care about each other and want more closeness, more desire and a conscious next chapter. If you’re in a crisis or in constant conflict, we’ll talk on your call about what would help you most.
One of us is keen, the other isn’t sure. What can we do?
Book a call with Tarisha, and Mark is happy to have a short call with the partner who isn’t sure.
How do we get to Kawau Island?
By ferry or water taxi from Sandspit, near Warkworth, about an hour north of Auckland. We’ll send you the times and everything you need before the retreat.
What about dietary needs?
Tell us on your call, and our chef will cook for you.
Places are by application
If you want to feel deeply connected again, to experience deep love and not drift away from each other, don’t wait. Book your free call with Tarisha now.
Apply to talkOr email tarisha@deeplyinloveagain.com