The deepest love is still ahead of you
For couples who want to enjoy deep intimate connection and an exciting sex life.
- 15 years in clinical practice
- Master's in Counselling
- NZAC member
- Emotionally Focused Therapy trained
- Sex therapist
- Trained with David Deida
It really is possible to fall deeply in love again
You love each other and you’re a good team, but the excitement has gone. Maybe you wonder if you’ll ever get back the deep intimacy you once shared.
We hear this from couples all the time. After 15 years of this work and hundreds of couples, we can tell you that you can come back to each other, deeper than before. You know yourselves and each other so much better than you did at the beginning, and that lets you take your relationship to a whole new level of closeness.
Most of us stop looking after our relationship, let alone working on it. We get busy with work and children, and we take each other for granted. Slowly, over time, that wears away the very things we valued in each other at the start.
We help you work through the patterns that leave you feeling more like flatmates than lovers. Our work is designed to give you the tools to transform your relationship, so you feel excited about your future together again.
“The change in my marriage is most pleasurable.”
Madelene, Sweden
As heard onEmpowered Relationship with Jessica Higgins · Feminine Rebellion
What makes our work different
Western therapy and Eastern wisdom
We offer a unique combination of Emotionally Focused Therapy, Hakomi and sex therapy with mindfulness, polarity and breathwork. You work on your relationship with your heads, your hearts and your bodies.
A couple who work together
We lead the retreats as a couple, you get a woman’s and a man’s perspective. We live what we teach. The practices we share are the ones we use in our own relationship.
Practical tools that help you change
You leave with practices you’ll keep using, like breathwork, body awareness and a clear map of the patterns that pull you apart. Your relationship becomes the place you both keep growing.
What we work with
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
A well researched couples therapy based on attachment science. You learn to see the emotional cycle you keep getting stuck in, and how to step out of it together.
Hakomi
Hakomi is a gentle form of therapy that uses mindfulness and awareness of the body to help you understand how past experiences shape your emotions, beliefs and your relationship.
Sex Therapy
Sex doesn’t have to fade the longer you’re together. At any age, you learn to talk openly about desire and create an exciting, satisfying sex life you both enjoy.
Polarity & Erotic Embodiment
Closeness alone doesn't create desire; it needs a spark. You learn to bring back the erotic charge between you and to feel more in your body, together. Pleasure is healing.
Adventure
Long term love stays alive when you keep doing new things together. On the retreat, we use the NZ landscape, outdoor adventures and shared challenges as part of the work itself.
Four ways to start
Couples therapy
Weekly or fortnightly sessions with Tarisha.
You’ll understand each other better, feel supported and loved, and build a closer emotional and sexual connection. Tarisha uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and sex therapy.
Online on Zoom, or in person at Three Lamps Therapy, 2 Jervois Road, Ponsonby, Auckland. See Tarisha’s EFT New Zealand profile.
About couples therapy →Private Retreat for Two
A two or three day private intensive, just the two of you.
12 to 18 hours of therapy with Tarisha in Auckland, in two or three days. It’s the equivalent of about six months of private therapy.
A lot will change when you spend two or three days focusing only on your relationship. You’ll understand what’s been getting in the way between the two of you. You’ll resolve the arguments and the sense of disconnection, and you’ll learn how to find each other again. It’s a really powerful way to improve your relationship.
About the private retreat →The Valentine’s Retreat
Three nights for six couples on Kawau Island, 12 to 15 February 2027.
For couples who want to be lovers again, not just a good team. Understand the emotional and sexual cycles that pull you apart, bring desire back to life, and write the next chapter of your relationship together, ending with Valentine’s dinner for two on the beach. All meals and accommodation are included.
Apply for the Valentine’s retreat →The Wanaka Adventure
Six days in the Southern Alps of New Zealand, among lakes, mountains and big skies.
Who it’s for: couples who want to create a different relationship. Maybe you’ve just found a new love, or you’ve been together for several years. You don’t want to repeat old mistakes, and you want deeply connected intimacy.
What you’ll get out of it: you’ll understand your emotional and sexual cycles and bring desire back, with outdoor adventures and two private couples sessions. February 2028.
About the Wanaka Adventure →Why we use Emotionally Focused Therapy
EFT is one of the most researched approaches to couples therapy. The results are strong, and they last.
of couples are free of relationship distress by the end of therapy.
of couples improve significantly.
later, follow up studies show couples have kept their improvements, and some keep improving after therapy ends.
Sources: Spengler, Lee, Wiebe & Wittenborn (2024), meta analysis of 20 studies, Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. Johnson, Hunsley, Greenberg & Schindler (1999), meta analysis, Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. Halchuk, Makinen & Johnson (2010), 3 year follow up, Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy. Wiebe et al. (2017), 2 year follow up, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. See the EFT research
“It’s never too late. I really did think it was too late for me… We hadn’t talked that openly for decades… Sometimes I hold him and he cries, and sometimes he holds me and I cry.”
“I can’t believe my relationship with my husband changed so much! We are again in love as 14 years ago, but now this feels so much deeper.”
Questions you might have
My partner doesn’t want to come.
You can start on your own. When you change how you respond, the relationship starts to change too. Your partner is welcome to join later.
We’ve tried counselling and it didn’t help.
We use Emotionally Focused Therapy to find the pattern underneath your arguments, and sex therapy is part of the work from the start. EFT is one of the best researched couples therapies. A 2024 review of 20 studies found that 70% of couples were free of relationship distress by the end of therapy, and the gains lasted up to two years.
Do we have to talk about sex?
Only when you’re ready. We go at a pace that feels safe for both of you.
Do you work online?
Yes. Tarisha works on Zoom with couples all over the world, and in person in her office in Ponsonby, Auckland.
What happens after the discovery session?
After we talk, we’ll see what the best way forward is for you. It could be weekly therapy, a couple’s intensive, a retreat, or the Sexually Empowered Radiant Woman course, which is specifically for women who want to reclaim their desire and feel confident and connected to their body.
How long will it take?
It depends on what’s going on for the two of you. Some couples come for a two day intensive. Others work with Tarisha for three months to two years.
Meet Tarisha & Mark
Tarisha is a relationship and sex therapist with 15 years of clinical practice. Her training includes Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, Hakomi somatic psychotherapy, Gottman couples therapy, somatic trauma work, sex therapy, tantra and biodynamic breathwork.
She has a Master’s in Counselling and a postgraduate degree in psychotherapy. In a past life she was a chartered accountant, before she found the work she loves.
Mark is Tarisha’s partner and coleads the retreats with her. His own training includes men’s work, polarity, breathwork and tantra. On a retreat he creates a space for the men to open up and support each other, so they can get the most out of the retreat.
With 20 years of experience in project management, Mark keeps everything running smoothly behind the scenes. He’s also the founder of Wild Sky Coffee, designing coffee gear for the outdoors.
We have both trained with David Deida, one of the world’s most respected teachers on intimacy and polarity. His book for couples is Intimate Communion.
Read more about us →Tarisha’s training and professional memberships
